Words

Why is it so hard to write nowadays? 

Type. Backspace. Type. Backspace.

It was so easy back then. I just randomly wrote what's on my mind and how I felt. I narrated almost everything in this space though no one cares. My writing used to be cheesy (istg I almost puke when I reread them) and immature but they were pure and honest. It seems that my preteen self was so carefree and fearless. My words flowed easily just like the years went by.

Now, they are gone. Perhaps, I care so much on 'what if' (s), the consequence, judgment, possible hatred etc. Most importantly, will I regret?

Another thing is procrastination. *sigh

My current self is so malas that I think the 15 years old nadwa who was so passionate about writing and believes in spreading positive vibes through words will be disappointed.  

Growing up, I found myself hiding so much of myself from the world. I rarely tweeted my honest thoughts like I used to do. I uploaded captionless pictures on my Instagram.

I wonder why. What's stopping me? What's holding me back? Where's my passion? 

18 y/o me who thinks rm800 is a lot

Rindu.

I'm missing the old me who loves to write, read and share what makes her world bright.

This is not the direction that I'm aiming for when I started writing this. Oh dear.